WTF

The new lady at my work was eating a corn dog for breakfast this morning...

Crazy Jesus

Back in December I wrote about the bizarre gifts my mother gives out during the holidays, and at that time I mentioned a pictured called “Jesus Laughing”. Well, recently my son knocked it off the shelf it was collecting dust on and the glass broke (DAMN!). Now, I’m trying to decide the deeper meaning of this incident. Does my son have a sense of how creepy this picture of the “crazy Jesus” was and sought out to destroy the "cackling Christ"? Or, does my son have something against the "laughing Lamb of God", which foreshadows sinister behavior to come? Or, does this have no meaning other they pointing out my son is klutzy?

This is...

how I feel, I hope to god this isn't how I look.

Fear…

I got your regular run of the mill fears, you know heights, burning to death, swimming in open water where the unknown can nip at your feet (I always imagine its one of those elusive giant squids). My current fear is that I will create some kind of esteem issues in baby boy number two (due in late April), because of what a joy baby boy number one is. I try not to be too obnoxious mom, but the boy is awesome. He’s a happy, smart, sweet, adorable, attentive little boy. I’m pretty sure it has noting to do with me or the spouse, and everyone is already telling me that I will not be so lucky this time around. Am I already setting this baby up for a life of comparison? Being the youngest of eight, I know what its like to be compared to older siblings, but I didn’t mind it because the majority of them sucked. As long as I avoided jail, drugs and pregnancy, I was a model child.

Ouch!

My baby has an “ouch”. He was at “school” on Friday and fell on the playground and I guess given the way that he went down, he almost completely tore off one of his finger nails. It tore from below the cuticle and was bleeding pretty bad. So, I took him to the emergency room and after seeing the triage nurse they fast tracked to see a doctor. My poor little boy kept telling me that he was scared…I wanted to cry. The doctor decided that it was best to take the nail (it was literally just hanging on), remove it, reinsert it under his cuticle and then put in some stitches to keep it in place. I’m not one to sugar coat things when it comes to pain, so I explained to him what was going to happen, keep in mind he’s only 3, and that it was going to hurt a lot. They basically wrapped him up, accept for the injured hand, so he wouldn’t move too much and then numbed his finger with a couple of shots, which was the most traumatic part of the whole process. I sat at the top of the hospital bed and talked to him while they were doing their thing, my husband was standing in the corner looking like he might throw up or pass out. Anyway, its been a couple of days now and he’s able to go the whole day with out any pain medicine and is being very good about making sure that he doesn’t hit it on anything. We clean and wrap it every night and it is starting to look better…here’s a fuzzy picture I took of it last night with my camera phone.

Hard Candy ;-)

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone. A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Yuck!

So going to the park with the family yesterday and as we approached the playground we were greeted with this sight.

Can we say ugly? A little plumber action is usually pretty fun, but this was just gross. And to make it worse, the chick has the foulest mouth. Evidently, she got the short end of the personality and looks sticks. Hopefully, she either comes from a family with means or has an industrial accident (preferable involving a belt and a pair of pants that fit) that provides her with some kind of financial stability, cause with a mouth and appearance like that no one in their right mind would hire or marry her. The topper is that her butt crack ass was sitting right next to the play ground, so I’m pretty sure there are some toddlers who were playing there that day who added the word “fuck” to their vocabulary.

I shouldn't laugh.

Everybody run Cheney's got a gun...

Blah, Blah, Blah...

So, I took the pic on the way home from work the other day. If feel kinda bad for the person living in the “old house” were you can park in the “at alley”. I must suck having your house referred to as old on a very public sign.

Also, the other night the spouse and I were watching the AI auditions from Austin, TX. When there was this guy singing “I can’t make you love me”. He stated that he was a music major studying at Texas A&M. Anyway, he get to the line “Just hold me close, don't patronize. Don't patronize me.” And both times he said “patronize” he pronounced it with the meaning “being a customer”, rather then “being condescending”, as intended in the song. The husband totally caught it, I had to rewind to see it again.

Red Hat Society

I went to the mall at lunch to pick up a gift for one of my employees. I was waiting for the girl at the Mrs. Fields counter to finish writing on the cookie card when I notice that the food court was covered with these people…


I’m pretty sure they are like a sorority for older ladies; I was never into the sorority thing in college. But, it made me laugh.