Little Idiots Everywhere

I started back to work a little over two weeks ago, and things are going pretty well. I didn’t freak out about leaving my little boy at day care, but that's probably was because I went back on a reduced schedule for the first few days as to help transition both of us. Also, my older son goes to the same school and I know the staff really well. Now, I’m back to my regular schedule, which is six hours a day.

The weekend before I went back my parents came to visit, which totally sucked. To put it simply, they are both asses…but for different reasons. My dad is just your run of the mill asshole. I think it really just boils down to insecurity, but he feels the need to be nasty to people for no apparent reason, which I assume makes him feel better about himself. On this trip, we were visiting a touristy area in the woods around town when he snapped a sixteen year old working at a soda shop because she made the ice cream cone he ordered for my mom to big…wtf. Then he wanted to argue everything under the sun.

On the day before they left, it was my first day back to work and I got off and started heading home when I called ahead to see if they wanted to go to lunch. My mom put my father on the phone and we discussed lunch options, I had suggest Mexican, but he said that he wanted a get a sandwich at a “mom and pop” joint. So, I pick them up and we headed to a “mom and pop” sandwich place, when my husband called and I told him where we were going. After we got off the phone here goes my dad…

“I thought we were getting Mexican?”

Me: “You said you wanted a sandwich”

Dad: “No I didn’t, I said I wanted to go to a ‘mom and pop restaurant’” (with a sarcastic chuckle)

Me: “No dad, I asked if you wanted Mexican, you said ‘No, I just want to go someplace where I can get a sandwich, you know a mom and pop restaurant'. I never said the word ‘sandwich’ that was all your idea”. (At this point my mom pipes up from the back seat to remind my father that he is the one who brought up the sandwiches)

Dad: “I just meant that I didn’t want to go to a big chain restaurant. And those sandwich places always make the sandwiches so big”

Me: “Who ever said that either the Mexican place or the sandwich place was a chain restaurant?”

Dad: “Well I don’t care where we go”

Me: “Fine, we’ll go to the sandwich place since we're halfway there.”

Dad: “I just didn’t want you to have to drive so much, since you’d been working and probably tired” (backpedaling?)

Me: “I only worked four hours today, and it’s not like this is a big town to drive around”

Dad: “It’s big to me”

Me: “Okay, dad you win…it’s a big town”

Dad: “I think any town that has a freeway is big”

He managed to order the only thing on the menu that wasn't a sandwich and let clarify something…he lives in Las Vegas. Although the city proper only has a population of around 575,000, Clark County, which mainly consists of Las Vegas is approaching (or has pasted) the 2 million mark. And where I live, we talking just over 200,000...dealing with him was pretty much like this the whole weekend, occasional sprinkled with some sarcastic comments, and unfortunately they were never clever. Also, he kept smoking in the courtyard and in front of the kids when I asked him not to. Whenever we said anything, he would go off about how cancer due to second hand smoke has not been proven. Okay, asshole, second hand smoke aside, you are modeling behavior I don’t want my kids to see, you smell like ass and I asked you not to and since you are a guest in my home you should respect that.

And, there's my mom who spent the weekend in her guest room reading the latest Ann Coulter book, I think someone forgot to tell my mom she’s Mexican. Last time she was here she wanted to pick up a Dr. Laura book called something like “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” (sound like a great white elephant gift), she backed off when I reminder that she didn’t even like her husband (Can I blame her? he’s an ass that smell like smoke).

On a high note, yesterday on the way home from work/school, my older son (3 yrs old) was playing with his little brother (13 weeks old) in the back seat. Talking to him sweetly, he said, “Ah, you’re a little idiot”. I had to explain to him that was not a nice thing to say, to which he defended himself, saying Nat (a classmate) said it was a good word.